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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28068240">beginnings &amp; ends</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayJedi11/pseuds/GrayJedi11'>GrayJedi11</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Bittersweet Ending, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Depressed Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Suicidal Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Suicidal Thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:09:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28068240</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayJedi11/pseuds/GrayJedi11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a little spot was tucked away in a corner of the Imagination, a few trees looking over a sharp cliff. Roman came here when his cuts got too deep, when his mind turned to darker thoughts.</p><p>He invited Virgil there, and maybe found a little more than he intended.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>beginnings &amp; ends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roman leaned his cheek against the rope hanging from the tree, swinging idly on the wood plank he'd put there. </p><p>This little spot was tucked away in a corner of the Imagination, a few trees looking over a sharp cliff. He came here when his cuts got too deep, when his mind turned to darker thoughts. He rarely properly toyed with the idea of jumping, but it was nice to have the option. </p><p>After visiting it over and over, it had become tainted with sadness and resignation to the end. He'd invited the other sides there to attempt to remedy this, without telling them why.</p><p>Today, he'd invited Virgil for a picnic. He found it easier to lose himself in conversation with the anxious side, easier to get distracted. With the cool breeze passing through his hair and Virgil swinging quietly beside him, talking and laughing occasionally, it was difficult not to forget why he'd ever want to die. </p><p>It was lonely as he waited, though. The sunset would be coming soon, and if Virgil didn't come before then the anxious side would get stressed about being late, convince Roman it was later than it was, and they'd have a much shorter time together. And God, sometimes he never wanted moments with Virgil to end. </p><p>A picnic basket sat at his feet, filled with sandwich supplies borrowed from Patton. The other sides were having individual dinners tonight, no one had really been up for cooking and Logan and Remus seemed to want to do their own thing anyway. </p><p>Virgil would probably bring some food himself, fearing there wouldn't be enough or just as a gift for Roman. He smiled at the thought. </p><p>The sun was low in the sky, but it hadn't quite turned orange yet. He'd chosen this spot specifically so it faced the sunset, so that the day he finally did kill himself, he could be a part of the end of something.</p><p>"Hey, sorry I'm late. I was making cookies, if that's a decent excuse."</p><p>Roman's heart softened at Virgil's little laugh, getting up to spread the picnic blanket on the grass. </p><p>"That's quite alright. I'd probably be late as well if I didn't like sitting here. Anyway, we've got a variety of sandwich ingredients, courtesy of Patton."</p><p>Virgil sat down criss-cross applesauce, setting his paper bag of cookies between them as Roman took the food out from the basket in the middle of them. </p><p>They chatted lightly as Roman distributed their food, the occasional brush of their fingers making his heart flutter.</p><p>"What's with the bandages?" Virgil asked as he swallowed a bite. </p><p>"Oh, just, uh, just another battle in the Imagination," he replied, the white bandages tugging at his palms. Underneath, the backs of his hands were scratched with razor cuts, marks full of desperation for pain. </p><p>"You've been getting into a lot of those lately. Don't you think you should take a break?"</p><p>"Well, a prince has got to slay, doesn't he? I'm imaginary anyway, I can't die unless I want to."</p><p>"I mean, you can also miracle away your wounds, can't you?"</p><p>"I… it's complicated."</p><p>Roman left it as that. He had no desire to get rid of his cuts, and he didn't think he actually could. In the world of someone's head, belief and thought had a lot of power.</p><p>"The sunset's always so pretty over here," Virgil commented, looking out onto the horizon, setting his sandwich down.</p><p>Roman couldn't help but notice how the orange light cupped Virgil's face, tracing his jaw and his nose, outlining every lock of his hair. It was so bright in comparison to his skin and hair. And he noticed, briefly, the little tint of light touching his lip, the glitter in his eyes, how it accented his little smile. He couldn't help but stare as he wavered in the wind, until he turned back to face Roman.</p><p>And then it had ended, in a moment. </p><p>"Oh- uh, yeah. It is."</p><p>Virgil just smiled softly, and Roman vaguely wondered if his eyes looked like that for anyone else. </p><p>Roman's eyes lingered on his lips, and all his prior desires seemed like the most far-fetched thing when he could be here, with Virgil, instead. </p><p>"You okay?"</p><p>He was snapped out of his haze by Virgil's quiet voice. The anxious side hadn't moved either, yet still seemed to be tracking Roman's eyes and face. </p><p>"Yeah. Sorry."</p><p>His moment of euphoria had ended, and now embarrassment drove intrusive thoughts into his head, telling himself that <i>he could jump, he could jump right now</i>. But he kept eating his sandwich instead. </p><p>"Do you ever wish this would end?" Roman asked suddenly, perhaps trying to fulfill his want for help. </p><p>"Define 'this,'" Virgil said absently, looking back at the sunset. Roman was looking down now, though.</p><p>"Just… everything that hurts. Being angry, and… sad, and people hurting you. Just, just anything that scares you. Do you ever think of… of trying to get rid of it?"</p><p>Virgil set his sandwich down, looking back at Roman. "I don't think there's many ways to do that, Ro."</p><p>Fear bubbled up again in Roman's throat. He knew why he'd said that, but he wasn't sure if he wanted Virgil to know exactly what he was going through, so he desperately tried to change the subject. "I- I, um- you. You help me forget about it. With you, I'm not- I'm not so scared. It's not like that with the others, and- and I think I figured out why."</p><p>He was doing his best to keep himself afloat, despite his fear of rejection. He suspected Virgil felt the same as he did, however. </p><p>"I'm in love with you."</p><p>For a moment there was nothing but the quiet rustle of the wind of the trees, Virgil's face placed so elegantly against the sky, mouth slightly open in a small smile. </p><p>And then, it was everything at once. Virgil had grabbed his sash before he could process it, tugging him into a kiss, light and passionate all at the same time. They both were leaned over the basket, the warm light of the sun hanging low on one half of their faces. It was eternally quiet; in the way where you could hear every soft breath, every slight movement, every slide of Virgil's hand resting on his cheek. They didn't break for a long time, drinking in every bit of it they could. </p><p>Roman took shallow breaths after Virgil returned to his spot, just staring into the anxious side's dark eyes. </p><p>"Why do you really come here?" Virgil asked. The question was perhaps out of place from an outside view, but both of them knew the topics were intertwined from the moment Virgil arrived. </p><p>Roman took a few moments to catch his breath, heart still skipping beats. "To remind myself that the end could be right there."</p><p>He would look back on this moment and see it as a dark moment in a pit of even darker ones. It wasn't happy, it wasn't any kind of relief, and he would change the start of their relationship to anything else if he could. But he knew he never would have gotten that chance to have a sweeter, happier moment before he jumped. </p><p>So at least this confession was part of a beginning, rather than a last ditch attempt at the end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>comments are appreciated!!!! hope you enjoyed!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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